


Worlds Apart

by Sammiannnz



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: But changing AU!'s each chapter, Explained later, Hybrid!AU, Individual tags inside the chapter notes, M/M, So I have no spoilers, Trigger warnings for chapter 5/6, high school!au, king!au, soulmate!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammiannnz/pseuds/Sammiannnz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan has a massive headache and every time it gets bad he blacks out, landing him in a completely different situation each time, with weird echoes of past and present voices and situations making him not quite understand why his world radically changes the way it does...until everything clicks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mixed Messages

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading this all as one work. Or if you read it and then I update, read the last paragraph of the action before moving on, it will make more sense that way.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags:  
> Mentions of Michael/Lindsay and Jack/Caiti  
> Changing locations (Studio 5 to 636)  
> This chapter is pretty normal/conventional to established relationships etc..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anybody mentions it, yes all the events mentioned may be wrong or in the wrong order (eg: Michael plays Jack at Battleships for VS and wins but it happens at Studio 5). This is deliberate. Explanation at end of the chapter.

It had started out a day like any other. Ryan had gotten up, had breakfast, and driven in his car to work. Once there he had sat down at his desk in Studio 5, sorted the cables and was ready to play whatever game Geoff would announce when he walked in.  
The others trickled in slowly after Ryan had arrived. Jack was left at the door by his wife, Ray wandered in with breakfast and a mumbled ‘morning’ to Ryan. Gavin bounced through the door, full of energy, followed by a frustrated Geoff. Finally Michael and Lindsay walked through the door, Michael giving Lindsay a kiss before they split off to their respective desks. Ryan was always at work well before anybody else because he couldn’t sleep so was up early every morning.

Once everybody was settled and the cords were untangled and everything was set up, Geoff revealed the day’s filming schedule.  
“Alright you idiots, we’re behind on a few things, so we need to film both an episode of GO! and Versus today, preferably before lunch.”  
Ryan sighed inwardly, he hated the busy days. He preferred the days where they had time to socialise and spending making jokes with everybody else and working at his own pace, not somebody else’s. However Geoff’s word was law in this office and they unpacked the mics and got ready to film an episode of Versus with Michael challenging Jack. 

It turned out that Michael wanted to play a real life game, Battleships, which required a dismantling of certain things they had just set up and a re-set up in a different configuration. Ryan of course, was busy in the middle of it all, and nobody cared that it took more time, laughing and joking around as they started filming. Ryan even tried to give a not so subtle hint to the position of Jack’s one sole un-hit ship to Michael, which flew right over Michael’s head. Geoff got the hint though and collapsed laughing on Ryan’s couch by the door. All in all it was a good morning with Michael winning overall and winning the belt. They took a short break after that, everybody needing a bit of a breather, particularly Geoff, who hadn’t managed to breathe through most of the VS, having been laughing too hard.

On the return to the office, Ryan did a double take. He walked into the office, the old cramped office from 636 and sat down on the couch before he realised what was wrong.  
“Hey guys, this is going to sound really weird but I thought we just filmed a versus in the new office.” Ryan said to Michael and Gavin who were setting up to capture.  
“Nah you mong.” Gavin replied, “We don’t move for another week. We don’t even start packing until tomorrow.”  
“Right.” Ryan murmured, shaking his head. ”It must have just been left over from moving anxiety or something like that.” Luckily the others wandered in at that point and he filming for the GO! started.  
“Your challenge is to kill 10 different enemies in 10 different games, with 10 different weapons, at least half of which have to be melee kills” Geoff announced to groans, “I said this week would be a challenge. On you marks, get set….GO!” Ryan leant back in his chair, and put his headphones in, ignoring the others, knowing full well this was going to be a full on challenge as to what to pick for melee kills. He loaded up Left For Dead 2 to get an axe melee kill first and foremost as he heard the others laughing over some stupid joke. _  
_

 _“Can you hear us Ryan?”_  
Jack’s voice was in his ears, asking if he could hear them. Ryan took off his headphones, “Of course I can hear you guys.” He replied, matter-of-factly, “I’ll bet that the guys out in the annexe can hear you as well with all the noise you’re making.”  
“Say what Rye-bread?” Gavin quipped, knowing that Ryan hated the nickname.  
“We didn’t say anything to you Ryan.” Jack told him, “We were all laughing at Gavin, like usual.”  
“Right, okay...” Ryan murmured, putting his headphones back on and relaxing back down into the chair. He shrugged it off and kept chalking up the kills until his score was at 7, with the remainder being melee kills. He wasn’t even in first anyway, the progress bar made sure of that. 

_“Ryan, answer us buddy, we’re worried about you.”_  
Ray’s voice cut through the game audio and the noise in the room. It was the tone of voice that got Ryan’s attention.  
“Ray.” He called out, getting the other man’s attention, “No need to worry, okay, I’m fine. Just quiet.”  
Ray looked back at him surprise, “I uh- great to know, but I wasn’t worrying about you. I was more worried about these dudes kicking my ass.” Ray looked back at his game and Ryan looked away, confused more than ever.  
It ended up with Ray winning that round and being one sticker away from a pizza party. Ryan turned around in time to see Ray bound across the office to get to the board and put up a sticker.  
“Isn’t he just a happy little bunny?” Geoff cooed, gaining himself a dirty look from Ray.  
  
Ryan put a hand to his head and excused himself from the office muttering something about a headache and left to get some fresh air. He was just outside the door when he felt a hand on his shoulder and was forcibly turned around to see Geoff in his personal space.  
“What’s up Ryan?” Geoff said, looking concerned, “You’ve been quiet all morning, the Lads said something about you thinking we moved already and you’re worrying all of us.”  
Ryan looked around, and felt a sharp burst of pain from his headache, he winced and spoke, “I’ve just got a massive headache, I haven’t been sleeping well.” The pressure in his head got worse until he was squinting in the sunlight. Geoff noticed this and grabbed the other man’s arm.  
“Inside. Now.” Geoff ordered, leading him towards the door. Just as the door was pushed open, Ryan got a burst of pain that blacked out his vision and made him stumble. Geoff grabbed him, trying to right his sense of balance as the headache got worse and he heard a voice with a British accent speaking to him. Gavin’s voice.  
“Gavin?” Ryan tried to mutter, but the world was spinning and all he felt was Geoff’s death grip on his arm and Gavin’s voice.

 _“The office isn’t the same without you. We’ve been missing you for a couple of days now and it’s just not fair that you are here and we are there. We miss you. For starters, the Gents are one member down and it’s just thrown off all the plans for Let’s Plays we had. Michael launched himself at me at least three times today and was planning more or so I heard. I’m really not that irritating am I? Ray’s really quiet, which is strange for him. Jack and Geoff have these secret little meetings when they think we’re busy with work. But how can anybody be busy with work at this time? I’ve even begged to be off the podcast this week because of this. Everybody wants to know you’re okay Ryan. Everybody at the office and all the fans and us. We want to know. We want to know you can hear us, and that you are okay, or you’re just sleeping. You’re not allowed to go anywhere, you have to stay right here….do you hear me James Ryan Haywood, you have to come back….”_ The voice drifted off and then faintly Ryan heard, _“We can’t lose you.”_ And a sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The details being wrong, this isn’t so much a thing for the character as it is for the readers. Not so much for the character feeling disoriented, but for the reader being slightly disoriented as the details are wrong. I am aware of this. I am also aware of the changing AU scenarios (see next 4 chapters). This is not a mash up of lengthy drabbles; this is actually a story, that will be brought together at the end. It is deliberate.  
> Oh, and it’s supposed to be read all continuously throughout the entire story, disregarding chapters, the transitions make more sense that way (once they're all posted obviously).


	2. Hybrid Hunters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter:  
> Hybrid!AU  
> Discrimination based on being a hybrid  
> Michael/Lindsay  
> Jack/Caiti (referenced to)  
> Gavin/Ryan (a moment)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have taken the hybrid pairings Geoff/Ram, Michael/Cat etc… from Allhailthemadqueen’s brilliant Hybrid Pandemic fan-fic, found here [http://allhailthemadqueen.tumblr.com/tagged/hybrid-pandemic/chrono] I recommend it highly. It’s brilliant.

Geoff gripped his arm tightly, stop him from falling over.  
“You really need to be more careful Ryan.” He said gently, unlocking the door and letting them both inside the old hall, “Cows are supposed to have better balance than you do, having four legs and all.”  
Ryan limped inside and leaned against a pole in the hall, trying to work the kink out of his leg.  
“Well Geoff,” Ryan began, helping the other guy lay out chairs, “I only have 2 and my animal instincts feel weird. Besides, I still have the headache, and now I have a leg that feels like it’s broken. I’m just clumsy, having 2 legs or 4 won’t change that.” Geoff looked worryingly at Ryan and Ryan shook his head, saying, “I’m fine, mostly. I’m just tired and quiet since the change, that’s all.”  
“Well, stop playing the video games and start socialising.” Geoff joked as they sat down, waiting for the others. The ‘others’ in question, were other members of the Hybrid support group in Austin, Texas. Ryan knew the stares he got, having cow horns and the tail, but it wasn’t as bad as some of the other people in the group.

There was Geoff Ramsey, the Ram hybrid. “Say it’s ironic and I’ll kick your ass.” Were Geoff’s first words to Ryan when they had first met, and had also been the guy to bring Ryan to the group when the cow hybrid turned up as tech support.  
The next through the door was Michael Jones, the cat, and his wife (and cat lover) Lindsay , who was a husky. Ray Navarez Jr, AKA the bunny man took his seat soon after bounding through the door and Jack ‘The Lion’ Pattillo sat down opposite, in order to help calm Ray’s bunny instincts. Finally Gavin Free came walking through the door, golden brown feathered wings outstretched the moment he entered the building. The session settled down, everybody getting the animal instincts undercontrol, as well as the human ones. Geoff started the conversation, “ Hi guys. How about we go around the circle and let the others know how acceptance has been for you recently in the workplace or at home or family? At home it’s been fine, my family are okay with me. Work’s been pretty good as well, I work with a pretty cool group of people so it’s pretty laid back. Michael?” 

Michael was sitting on Geoff’s left and he cleared his throat. “At home it’s been pretty much okay. I seem to be one of the lucky ones whose partner also changed so although it’s been different, it’s been mostly stress free. Except for when Lindsay tries to pet me.” There was a round of murmured laughter as Michael continued, “Work has been stressful, I work at a coffee shop and so keeping the ears and tail hidden has been easy, but colleagues are not as forgiving. We are getting more business because people know I’m a hybrid though so the hybrids are coming in, as well as some slander but it happens. Sometimes it causes stress with competing animals but mostly its fine. Lindsay?”  
“Mostly what Michael said.” She replied, “I work in an office, so not too many issues there. People just tend to avoid me mostly and the home life is as good as it’s going to get. And I apologise for the petting. It’s a habit. I pet cats. You’re a cat.” Michael rolled his eyes and looked at Gavin who was sitting next to Lindsay.

_“We just don’t know the full extent of My Haywood’s injuries. We can’t tell you what the outcome will be. Physically, he will recover, given some time. Mentally, well, we just don’t know.”_  
There was a strangers voice in his head, someone professional. He didn’t know what was going on, maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him he was mentally unstable. If the voice didn’t know, he didn’t know either. He tuned back into what Gavin was saying with some effort.  
“…..always around open minded people all the time, being on movie sets and things like that so there aren’t too many issues. It’s mostly just people doing a double take when they first see me. It’s hardest at home. I live on my own and I can only preen what feather I can reach, so I end up with awkward feathers sticking into me and it feels uncomfortable. And I have an unfortunate problem of stretching my wings and things falling off the side table and hitting the floor, I appear to need lots of room for these things.” He flapped his wings slightly, creating a breeze that blew over everybody. “I split my water 4 times last night because of that. Ryan?” Ryan looked up in surprise.

“Nothing to report.” He mumbled. He didn’t want to reveal that he had to deal with abuse every day from people who didn’t understand. He didn’t want to reveal that he was hearing voices of people he barely knew and he definitely didn’t want to reveal that he was lonely. He reached his hand out to Gavin’s wings unconsciously to preen the parts that Gavin couldn’t reach. Ryan could see them, feathers all out of alignment and looking uncomfortable.  
“Come on.” Geoff wheedled, “We’re all sharing, no matter how much we want to or not. That’s the rules. Nobody here will judge you; we’re all in the same boat. That’s why this group exists.”  
“Fine.” Ryan said, “I’m a tech support worker, for PC computers. I do the call-outs and things, help people setting up and dealing with issues, that sort of thing. Every second job I go to since my change I have abuse hurled at me, or people turning away. I’ve had people take one look at me and send me back to the office with orders to send somebody normal.” He looked away and took a deep breath, getting his emotions under control. “And at home, I’ve still been having headaches. One long constant headache that won’t go away since my change. Nothing works for it, and it’s been disrupting my sleep so much that I’m hearing voices now. Ray?” Geoff looked at Ryan for a moment then his eyes slid across to Ray, who started talking. Ryan tuned out after that, only catching bits about how Ray was getting shit for having a fluffy tail, and that Jack’s family had all but rejected him in fear after realising he was a lion. Preening Gavin helped calm him down, and he knew it helped Gavin too.

Soon Ryan and Gavin were the only two left in the room and they got up, Ryan adjusting the last feather into place and smiling.  
“Better?” Ryan said, a smile in his words. He hadn’t realised his headache had gone until it came back, building up pressure in his head.  
“Much better. Thanks Ryan.” Gavin murmured, rolling his shoulders and twitching his wings. He turned around to face Ryan, “You don’t know how good that-“ and found Ryan in his chair, hands wrapped around his head.  
“I’m fine.” Ryan said through gritted teeth, “You should get back to work.” Gavin took one look at Ryan and wrapped arms (and wings around the older man).  
“Not going anywhere. Not when someone I care about is hurting like this.” Gavin announced, dragging Ryan down to the floor and settling him in his lap, wings curling about protectively. “Why didn’t you say it had gotten so bad?”  
“I didn’t think it was so bad…” Ryan muttered, trying to fight back tears. The pain was so intense, it was going to make his head explode. “I just…” There was a noise, and a flash of pain and a voice, a voice of a worried young man. 

_“I can’t take this Ryan. You have to believe me. This eternal waiting, this no response waiting game we have going. You have to wake up man. The dreams you’re having, the doctor says the brainwaves are unlike anything she’s seen before. We don’t know what’s going on. You stay as still as anything, scaring the shit out of us all. We’re on shifts, waiting for you to wake up and I can’t—“_ There was an intake of breath and a lowering of the voice, _“I can’t do this. I’m worrying about you. What happens if you never wake up? What happens to us then? Where do we stand, you and I, the R & R Connection? And what about the others? They’re just as worried. Gavin’s on nightshift, he tells you everything about the day, Michael is trying not to cry every time he walks in and ‘good guy Ray’ here has to break the news that you still haven’t come back to us. Geoff and Jack, I don’t know what’s going on with them. All in know is we’re barely holding together man. We need you. We. NEED. You. You hold us all together and we’re falling apart. Nothing I do can stop us falling apart. I feel so useless without you. Ryan, I don’t know how much of this you can even hear or comprehend but we need you. We miss you. Come back to us and just wake up.”_


	3. Soulmate Scenario

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter:  
> Soulmate!AU  
> Ray/Ryan (minor)  
> Mostly just a day out with the mates

Ryan came to with somebody’s arms wrapped tightly around him. He attempted to move but the arms were too tight.  
“Lemme go.” He tried to say, his words muffled in somebody’s shirt. The arms relaxed and Ryan managed to free his head and look up to find Gavin looking down on him.  
“Gavin?” He questioned, aloud, “What are you doing?” Gavin looked down, his eyes wide as if he’d only just realised what was happening.  
“Uh-“ he stammered out, letting Ryan go and crawling backwards, “Uh- I was messing about on the ground, you…” Gavin stopped for a moment to get his thoughts in order, “I don’t know what happened to you, one minute you were laughing and the next thing I know you’re falling. I’m already on the ground so I grab you, or rather you fall on me and well yeah….” Gavin was feeling awkward now, “Besides landing on me was softer than landing on the grass.”  
Ryan took this moment to look around, they were in a park, Geoff and Jack were at the barbeque a little way away from them, and Michael and Ray were looking at them strangely from a couple of meters. Ryan swore he had been in a hall only moments ago, but he thought a little and everything clicked into place. Ray, Michael and Gavin had been play fighting, with Ryan supervising, because god knew they needed to be supervised. How he got from there to in Gavin’s arms after falling was a mystery to him.  
“Yeah….” Ryan said, still unsure of his thoughts, “Right….”  
“Are you okay man?” Michael called out, still not coming closer. All thoughts of the play fight had disappeared but Geoff and Jack seemed oblivious to the fall.  
“I’m fine, thanks to Gavin here.” Ryan called out, trying to laugh it off. The other two shrugged and Michael leapt on Ray, to Ray’s surprise.

Ryan heard the guys fighting and yelling as he got up and walked over to look at the lake. He felt a hand on his shoulder and saw Gavin come up beside him.  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” the Brit asked, tentatively, “I mean, I don’t know what happened, one minute you were fine and then…”  
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know what made me fall. I just did. I can’t remember much of today, I remember a hall but that’s about it. I guess lack of sleep is causing me to have a headache and not managing to remember much.” Gavin looked concerned at this, causing Ryan to wave it off and distract himself by pulling some golden brown feathers out of Gavin’s hair.  
“Have you been sleeping in a birds nest or something Gavin?” He questioned, “How come you’ve got feathers in your hair.” Ryan felt like the feathers were familiar but couldn’t place them for some reason.  
Gavin ignored the question, instead focusing on the ground.  
“Um…Ryan?” He said, in a mumbled voice, “I didn’t mean to pry or anything but when you landed I saw that you had a birthmark. On your wrist.”  
Ryan looked down at the younger man and then took his hands away, rubbing his birthmark softly.  
“What about it?”  
“Well, I’ve seen that birthmark, that soulmate mark before. Just for a moment or two, but I’ve seen it before. I know who else it belongs to.”  
Ryan looked at Gavin intently waiting for the answer, but none was forthcoming. Gavin knew? How could he possibly know unless…. Ryan paused for a moment and then thought he understood.  
“Gav-“ He began, putting his hand on Gavin’s shoulder.  
“It’s not me.” Gavin hurriedly began, “Mine isn’t on my wrist, mine is just beneath my collarbone.” Gavin stopped, “Probably too much information for you.”  
Ryan’s mind raced, wondering who in the hell it could be then.  
“It’s Ray.” Gavin said, finishing Ryan’s thought for him, “Ray has the same birthmark on his wrist. He’s your soulmate. I know he doesn’t like talking about it, so he hides it under those slap bands and cuffs and things like that. But I’ve played games with him when he hasn’t been wearing them, and I know he has it. Birthmark comprising of a circle with 4 arrows, almost like an Xbox controller’s D pad. It’s on him, and it’s on you too.” Gavin looked up, “But I didn’t tell you this. You didn’t hear it from me.”  
Ryan smiled at Gavin, “I know Gav. I don’t betray trust. But thank you. I mean it. It means a lot to me.” Gavin smiled and walked off; Ryan thought for a minute and followed him.

The other two lads were still fighting, and Ryan walked up to them ignoring the desperate stare from Gavin to leave it alone.  
“I fight the winner okay? 3 minutes and the winner has to verse me.” Ryan announced to them, fairly confident that Ray would beat Michael. They looked up surprised and Michael said, “Sure man, but you…you aren’t usually into this stuff…besides, you’d kick our asses.” Ray looked fairly up for it, Michael was dubious.  
“Or you could just declare me the winner and not have to fight him.” Ray chimed in, a cheeky grin on his face. The look that Michael gave him was one of pure hatred.  
“Not in your wildest dreams.” Was Michael’s only reply, before launching himself at Ray. Ryan took a spot on the grass nearby, headache pounding, watching Gavin run over to Jack and Geoff and start frantically talking, his hands waving about everywhere.

_"I don’t understand what’s happening. Why him? Why us? Are we some sort of abomination that the universe has to punish by doing THIS?!”_ A jersey accent proclaimed, voice full of hurt and anger, _“Who gets to decide all this? What did Ryan do to deserve this? Loving us? Was that his crime? Was being happy and in love his crime?”  
_ Ryan shook his head, the voice still echoing as the Jersey boy in front of him screamed for mercy from Ray’s tickling. The same voice that had been raging in his head a moment earlier.

“Time.” Ryan called out, as he got up, “Who won?”  
Michael was on the bottom, being tickled mercilessly by Ray.  
“Uh- I guess I won.” Ray said, barely looking up.  
“Good.” Ryan said, and took two steps forward, grabbing Ray around his waist and hoisting him up away from Michael. Michael looked relieved, and Ray was wriggling madly.  
“My turn.” Ryan said, setting Ray down away from Michael.”  
“This isn’t even a fair fight.” Ray said, “You’re so much stronger than me.”  
“Fair point.” Ryan inclined his head in a nod. He got down on his knees and knelt there. “Fair enough now?” Ray could argue with that, only nodded. Ryan was aware of Geoff and Jack’s attention being on them now and knew it was no or never as he was going to be stopped the moment they managed to get their hands on him.

Ryan launched at Ray, and tackled him to the ground pinning him almost instantly by a wrist and the thighs. Ryan avoided Ray’s face and glasses (he knew not to break the glasses), trying to tickle him just like Ray had tickled Michael not too long before. Ryan found that Ray’s ticklish spot was his sides just beneath his rib cage and attacked it with all gusto. It wasn’t long before Ray started to fight back though. He swung an arm at Ryan, trying to get Ryan in a headlock, all the while squirming and laughing uncontrollably. In the corner of his eye, Ryan saw Geoff hand Jack the tongs to the barbeque and start walking towards them. Ryan grabbed Ray’s free wrist and pinned it down, noticing almost immediately that the slap bands had come off in the struggle. He grabbed it and looked at it, ceasing to tickle Ray when he saw the mark. The same mark that was on his wrist.  
Ray looked at Ryan and snatched his wrist back, hunting for the slap bands to put back on to cover it. Ryan grabbed Ray’s wrist again, looking longingly at the mark and at Ray.  
“Don’t.” He said to Ray, urgently and quietly, “Don’t cover it.”  
“Well why not?” Ray said, a touch of anger in his voice, “What right have you got to tell me what to do?”  
Ryan sat back and released Ray entirely, “Because….” There was a pause and then Ryan continued in a tired voice, “Because I have one two. The same one.” He held his wrist out to show Ray, and then leant back. Geoff had stopped at this point and stood there, staring at them. So was every other pair of eyes in the park and suddenly Ryan was very aware of that. He stood up and ran his hands through his hair.  
“I’m going for a walk.” Ryan said, gently, “You can join me if you want. Or not. It’s up to you. I’ll be back later anyway.” He started walking away, nodding to Michael who had heard everything, Gavin who knew everything and Geoff and Jack who had observed everything.

Ryan walked ½ way around the lake and stopped on the little jetty to skim stones across the water and think. It wasn’t long before he heard hesitant footsteps on the wooden planks behind him. He turned to find Ray standing there, awkwardly, but without his slap bands on.  
“Glad you could make it.” Ryan said gently, before skipping another stone across the water, 5 bounces before it sank into the murky depths of the lake. Ray stood awkwardly behind him as Ryan attempted another bounce. They had never hung out much outside of work, and although the R & R connection was strong, it was a game joke, not really a proper friendship.  
“He told you didn’t he?” Ray spoke with purpose, the question not so much a question as a statement.  
Ryan paused for a moment and turned around, dropping the last rock from his hand into the lake.  
“Gavin told me. Yes.” Ryan said simply, “He told me not to do anything or let you know I knew. Especially from him. He wasn’t betraying your trust Ray, he was doing what he thought was right.” Ray looked away and Ryan knew that he felt Gavin had betrayed him.  
“I mean it. He wasn’t betraying your trust. If I hadn’t done anything about it, the knowledge wouldn’t have gone any further. And I don’t know if you noticed but Gavin was trying very hard to get Geoff to intervene and stop me, but he didn’t say why.” Ray looked back at him and Ryan rested against a rail, looking out over the lake.  
“I was curious, and dumb. I shouldn’t have. But I needed to know. If I had been wrong then, I would have apologised and moved on. I would have left you in peace. But it was the same. I’ve never hidden mine and…well…..you’ve known for a long time haven’t you? Why didn’t you say something.”  
Ray waited a moment, joining Ryan at the rail and glancing up at him before speaking. “Honestly Ryan, I never gave a damn about the whole ‘soulmates’ thing. I thought it was some stupid joke fate gave us, making us feel special. Then I saw yours, and it matched mine. You wanna know where I saw it? In a video, a stupid, fucking video. I didn’t believe it. I kept looking out for it in real life and it took ages but I finally saw it and my world stopped. Everything clicked and I …” Ray looked away, “I was scared. I was scared you’d not like me, I was terrified that you would feel the way I had, laugh it off and walk away. So I kept mine hidden, started up the R & R connection to make some sort of bond and let it be. Platonic. Some soulmate relationships are just that, platonic.” Ryan let out a long breath and turned to face Ray who obstinately wanted to keep his head focused on the rail.

It was Ray who spoke first, without looking at Ryan. “I don’t want this to just stay platonic.” He mumbled, softly and with a sad smile, “But I’ll understand if you want to.”  
Ryan put his hand ontop of Ray’s on the rail, and used his other hand under Ray’s chin to bring the Puerto Rican’s face up so he could see it.  
“I’ve never wanted that.” Ryan said, softly. “All my life I’ve wanted to know my soulmate. I felt this pull towards certain things, Rooster Teeth was one of them. I knew you were out here somewhere and I wanted desperately to be a part of your life.”  
Ray’s hand gripped his as their lips touched, gently, softly and then with more force, teeth grazing lips, tongues meeting and the kiss intensified, both knowing that this was something that they had wanted all their lives. Ryan pulled away first and wrapped his arms around the younger man pulling him into a tight embrace. He gently kissed Ray’s cheek and looked down at the man he had been waiting most of his life for.

The headache burst through the moment, ripping away the happiness. Ryan felt like he was falling into blackness as the image of Ray and him on a jetty, the image of his soulmate was ripped away into darkness.  
 _“Ryan, the others don’t know I’m here. It wouldn’t worry them even if they knew though. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything I said. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it was just meant as a joke. Team Crazy Mad can repair can’t it? I’m so on edge now, everybody is so on edge right now. We all pretend to be doing work for 6 hours a day, barely speaking unless we have to record and then we put on overly happy, fake personalities and record these videos that sound so staged, before we can go home and sit in a pile on the couch or lie in bed, doing nothing. If the TV’s on, or somebody’s playing Xbox, or even trying to read a book, it’s all done without enthusiasm. Nobody wants to eat, but Jack cooks and Geoff makes us eat it, and tries to bring us all together but without you it’s just…..Somebody’s always beside you Ryan, we always will be. But right now I am, and all I want is for you to wake up or flutter your eyes or make your fingers twitch and grab mine. I’ll bet you can’t even feel my hand in yours right now. But I need you to be there, hearing me, and getting ready to wake up. I couldn’t face it if you didn’t wake up Ryan. Please come back. We miss you. I miss you. I can’t lose you Ryan. I don’t think I’d make it if I lost you. Please.”_


	4. King Conundrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter:  
> King!AU  
> Familial bonds - Ryan/Ray  
> Mad King references  
> Platonic relationships  
> Father-figure Geoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anybody says it, I know the alliteration isn't right. It sounds right but it's right.  
> P.S Do you know how hard it is to write Ray and Ryan over and over again? You end up writing Rayn a lot..... *sigh* Enjoy!!

Ryan was aware of Ray hugging him and took a deep breath in. There were echoes in his mind, of a Jersey accent, a British accent, a scared man and a strange diagnosis of some variety. He took another breath in and recalled more details. A headache following him around, wings and animal parts, and a vague notion of soul mates, coupled with intense pain and… something just out of reach. He shook his head and stepped back, releasing the man he knew to be Ray. The echoes were still there in the back of his mind, but they were just out of reach now, fading more as the seconds passed and he studied Ray.  
Dressed in full court ceremonial, just like he was. Ryan took a moment to examine his surroundings, memories reasserting themselves and overpowering the echoes.  
“Are you ready?” Ray asked him his voice steady but his shaking hands betraying his nervousness, “Are you sure you want to hand over the kingdom to me of all people?”  
Ryan remembered why he was there and the shaking young man in front of him was the prime example of how nervous everybody in the castle was.  
“I am sure.” Ryan put his hands on Ray’s shoulders, “I understand you’re nervous, and I understand that it’s a big deal. This isn’t the ceremony, remember. The papers are signed, this is just announcing it.” Ray’s hands didn’t stop shaking and the man himself was as white as a sheet. Ryan made him sit down on the top of the chest nearby.

“Listen to me.” Ryan said, leaning down to Ray and speaking urgently. “Look at me and LISTEN.” Ray refused to look up and Ryan just continued regardless. “This is what you are here for. You were an orphan on the street. You were tentative friends with the Gardener’s boy, Gavin as well as others such as Michael. I took you in because I liked you. I saw something in you that nobody else saw. How many times were you chased away from the back gate when you were begging for food? How many times Ray?”  
Ray wet his always lips and whispered, “Never.”  
“What was that?”  
“Never.” Ray repeated, his voice a little stronger, “I was never turned away.”  
“And I took you in. You became my son. You became the only family I had left. I took you in and taught you and helped you grow up did I not? You were old enough to understand what I was offering. I offered you this or a home with a family I knew, a nice family. You didn’t have to choose this. But you did. You were old enough to understand and choose and you chose this. You became my ward. You knew what this meant.”  
Ray still refused to look at him and Ryan understood why. He had felt the same on the day his father had handed down the reigns of the kingdom to him. His father had been ill, and Ryan had been given the keys to the kingdom at 18, barely old enough to have such responsibility.  
“Let me tell you something Ray.” Ryan said, sitting next to Ray on the chest, “I was 18, when I was given the kingdom. I was old enough to rule without a regent, but not experienced enough. But I was given the kingdom all the same. Advisors never crossed me, never told me otherwise when they should have. My father was a cruel man, and advisors that crossed him never lived. So none of the advisors crossed me. They were scared. I was scared too. 18, no experience in these matters and I had no-one to turn to who would tell me the honest truth. So I became a cruel king too. That was all I knew. I was known as the Mad King for a while, a title similar to that of my fathers. All because I had never been taught any other way, and because I had no-one to set me straight. The people feared me, Ray. Feared me so much more than they ever feared my father. I was cruel, I was frightening and I was on the verge of actually going mad. Then an advisor came in, a man called Geoff. He set me straight. He told me where I went wrong, he didn’t fear me. He told me that things could be mended, and that if I killed him for telling the truth, then another would come in his place.” Ryan got up and started pacing the room, he couldn’t keep still any longer.  
“But he gave me the one thing I had never had before, compassion. By forgiving me for my sins, by caring for me as a person, not as a king, but as a scared 25 year old who had never known any different, he saved me. But by that time I had sworn never to love, never to marry. I fell for a girl, but I refused to break my oath, to marry her and save everything I had once wanted. So she left, and broke my heart. And then I found you, begging for food at the back gate when I came in from hunting. I was about to strike you, do you remember, when someone came over and placed their hand on my arm. And I stopped. That was all I needed to remember who I wanted to be. A touch of compassion. So I passed it on. I gave you compassion, in the form of food, and later in the form of kindness, and of love. And you returned it. You gave me the one thing I thought I could never have. Love.” Ryan turned around, his features silhouetted against the sunlight streaming through the window. He walked back and knelt down before Ray, forcing the younger man to look at him.  
“Ray, you saved me. And I want to pass this on to you. You can say no, you can back out. No one will ever judge you for it. But know this: you will be a much better king than I ever was. I was always fighting with my inner demons, and still am to this day. But you…you’re a kind man, and kindness lies at your heart.”

Ray stood up, hands no longer shaking. He pulled Ryan up with him and grabbed him a tight hug, squeezing until Ryan thought his ribs would pop. Ray released him finally and looked at him earnestly.  
“I can only try, right?” Ray said, the quiver in his voice all but gone. “You gave me more than I ever dreamed possible. I do love you...dad.” Ryan smiled, it was a sad smile, and a happy smile all at the same time. He grabbed Ray’s hand and held it between both of his.  
“Shall we then?” He asked, Ray nodded and they walked together down the hallway and into the room by the main balcony, and by the town square. Ryan walked down the line of people waiting there shaking hands and greeting people alike.  
“Gavin, the medic. How you’ve grown up, and how you’ve learnt. You’ll always have a job here.”  
He moved down the line, “Jack. One of my longest lasting friends. An advisor whose compassion kept me sane at the most insane of moments.”  
Right next to Jack was Ray’s best friend Michael. “Michael. What can I say? You’ve grown too. And helped a lot. Make sure he doesn’t go too crazy, protect him as a brave young knight should.”  
And finally, “Geoff. The man who gave me compassion. The man who saved me from myself.” There was a lump in his throat as he tried to farewell the man who had done so much and asked for so little. The man who would stay and watch over Ray, his adoptive son, to make sure that Ray would be okay. Ryan took a step forward and grabbed the man in a great big bear hug. “Take care of him.” He said softly, words only Geoff could hear. Geoff nodded solemnly as Ryan took a step back and went out on the balcony, followed by Ryan and Geoff just inside the door.

The roar that greeted them from the townspeople was loud, but quietened quickly. Townspeople had long memories and remembered the times when loud noises had not been so favourably accepted.  
“My people. The time has come. My era is over; my reign is at an end. I know many of you will never forgive me for mistakes made at the beginning, and this kingdom needs a fresh start, away from mistakes of the past. So I present to you, King Ray!”  
The roar that had greeted them was nothing like the roar that followed this statement. Ryan stood there on the balcony, took of his crown and placed it on Ray’s head. He nodded to the younger man and grasped his hand solidly before hoisting it in the air to even louder cheers.  
Ryan was silent only for a moment before releasing Ray’s hand and slipping inside, out of the sunlight and out of the public’s gaze. He slipped off his cloak and laid it over the back of the chair as he sat down and closed his eyes. The babble of the public outside aggravating his headache, but a headache was well worth everything that was going on.  
“He grew up so fast.” Came the voice of a man beside him, a young man. Ryan opened his eyes to find Michael standing there. “He grew up so fast.” Michael repeated, looking out at the balcony.  
“That he did. He carries that burden of a kingdom well. He will be a good ruler.”  
Ryan felt an overwhelming urge to be away from the castle and out into the open air, riding and hunting away from the events and stresses of the past few hours.  
He put his arms on the side of the chair, and pushed himself up onto his feet, the burden of the kingdom slipping off his shoulders. Ryan took a step forward, past Michael and past the watchful gazes of the staff, and felt his right leg buckle beneath him. He went down, falling to the floor, colliding with a side table as he went down, making the tea set on the table crash to the floor and break into the thousands of pieces. That got the attention of the staff, who rushed towards him, Michael at the front, assessing the damage. Ryan was aware that Michael was pulling at his clothing, undoing buttons and opening his shirt.  
“Michael, what are you doing?” Ryan said, trying to push Michael’s hands away. “I’m fine. Just fell. An old hunting injury is playing up.” Michael grabbed Ryan’s hands and pushed them aside, continuing his search. Ryan tried to sit up and push Michael away, terrified that Michael would see the scars of multiple lacerations, gained in battle or hunting all over his torso and stretching up to his neck. He was even more scared that Michael would find the marks from where his father used to beat him. His head hurt and his vision swam as Michael called out for bandages and water. Ryan blinked a few times, finding Michael in his vision and then, Ray rushing in from the balcony and being pulled away by Geoff. Ryan was aware of a warm wetness spreading out from his right side, and felt the shirt being ripped away and shards of something hard sticking into his sides. Ray was crying out, pushing at Geoff and Jack who were holding him back.

Ryan was aware of being lifted, and of Michael holding his hand tightly, of voices calling out around him, bright lights and a head that felt like it was going to explode. His vision swam in and out of focus, taking in two completely different sights.  
One sight was the castle, Ray being restrained and crying out, a shattered tea-set and a bloody shirt. The other was a road, red and blue flashing lights, glass and voices calling out orders.

 _“I just thought I should let you know, it’s strange without you. Geoff’s been sleeping on the couch and Ray and Michael are just silent all the time. I know Gavin ends up crying himself to sleep most nights now. I feel like doing the same but I can’t. Not really. The others have been talking to you, calling out while it’s been their turn. It’s been almost 2 weeks now Ryan and it’s been strange. They say you’re coming back, but every time any one of us is here, you just look the same. We’re so worried. I’m so worried. I’d never forgive myself if you never recovered. Ryan, I never meant for this to happen... I was fine, I came out with minor injuries, but you….”_ There was an intake of breath and a strangled sob, _“Why was it you and not me? It was my mistake, it was my fault and you got injured. You are in this state because of me, because I wasn’t aware enough when I should have been. Geoff says it isn’t my fault, they all say that but I feel it is. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me. You wouldn’t be here like this, if it wasn’t for me. I wish you would wake up so I know that you are okay. So that I know my mistake didn’t kill you. I don’t understand why it was you and not me. I’m sorry. Ryan, I’m sorry. I can’t ever undo what has been done, but I wish I could. I wish I could go back that night and tell myself to watch out. But I can’t and it’s all my fault and I can’t help you, I can’t fix you and I don’t know what to do except to sit here and talk to you hoping you can hear me because I feel so useless. I can’t do the one thing I want to do, which would be to switch roles with you. If you were awake you’d probably call me an idiot and tell me that you’d never want that but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel responsible. I miss you Ryan. I need for you to be okay. Just…..just give me a sign or something. I am lost without you…_


	5. High School Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags:  
> High school!AU  
> Ryan/Jack relationship  
> One-sided Michael/Lindsay (Michael wants Lindsay)  
> Ryan being referred to as James
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR:  
> -Physical and mental bullying  
> -Homophobia (quite prevalent without being 'in your face')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for the length of this one. It got away from me and I hadn’t had the heart to get rid of anything. It needed all the background I put into it being a high school!AU, so yeah. Oh and I was gonna say sorry too for the characters, but I won't. I had fun writing them like this…but I’m sure you’ll all hate me…I was cruel. :D

Ryan opened his eyes and saw the floor, and his books and papers spread out around him. His writings were there too, writings of love and of happiness. Writings that pictured him, in love, with one person, with 2, with 5 others. He had a dream to be loved, and it came through in his writings, soulmates, kings and princes and even as a weird hybrid mix with animals, the doodles that went along with the stories were quite strange, but Ryan felt like, the writings were less fiction and more reality. He felt like this, although normal, wasn’t real, that something else was real, but he couldn’t quite place what was wrong, and where the reality was in the whole situation.

He hauled himself up onto his hands and knees with a sign, collecting his papers and books all too aware of the familiar snickers behind him. He got all of his stuff into a pile and found his glasses, thanking the high heavens that they weren’t broken like last time and put them on. He looked up to find a hand in front of him, and Ryan took it gratefully, not looking at who the hand belonged to.  
“Hey, thanks.” Ryan began, directing his comment to the owner of the hand and then he looked up. “Oh…” He trailed off. Burdened as he was, he couldn’t dodge the fist swung at his face, the same which has just helped him up a moment before, belonging to one Michael ‘Redhead’ Jones, a thug for the bully that hated Ryan. It wasn’t long before Ryan was on his back on the ground again, his books falling to the ground with a thud.  
“Missed us Jamie boy?” came a voice from above him, using his hated first name and twisting it into an insult. The voice belonged to one Geoff ‘Lazer’ Ramsey, the rebel with tattoos that had made it his personal mission to bully Ryan. “The weekend was so boring. We had no-one to beat up. You didn’t even go your usual way home on Friday, you missed our meeting. Were you meeting up with your boyfriend?” Geoff spat out, a smirk on his face, “What do you say we take our payment for Friday now and today’s after school?”  
“How about we do it all now. Twice the damage and a lesson taught?” A British voice chimed out, belonging to Gavin Free. The exchange student who had joined Geoff’s group of thugs almost the same day as he entered the school grounds.  
“I’m with Gavin. He needs to be taught a lesson, and we get to be brutal this time around.” The Puerto Rican that voice belonged to was one person Ryan had thought was his friend before joining Geoff’s group and giving away the one thing he wanted to keep secret, the fact that he was gay.  
“Alright.” Geoff said, musing over the suggestion as the bell rang for class, Ryan hoping that they would stop but knowing they wouldn’t.  
“Michael took first payment, Gavin, you wanna go next?” Gavin smiled sadistically before booting Ryan quite brutally between his legs, leaving Ryan curled up in a ball gasping for air. Ray was next, taking Ryan’s glasses off his face and snapping them in half before dropping back on Ryan’s chest, knowing full well what a lack of glasses would do as he wore them too. Geoff grabbed Ryan and hauled him up, pushing him up against the lockers, Ryan hung there limply, he knew better than to fight back. He had tried that once, only once. Never again with the injuries he had sustained from that fight against Geoff.  
“If you miss the ‘meeting’ again.” He threatened, “This will seem like a walk in the park compared to what we will do when we finally catch up with you. Understand?”

“Mr RAMSEY!” A voice boomed in the corridor, “Mr Navarez, Mr Jones and Mr Free, I’d suggest you all get to class before I withdraw you from said class and make you do calculus work until your fingers bleed.” Geoff dropped Ryan back to his feet, “Saved by the bell. Well….not quite.” Geoff said, passing Ryan and wandering down the hall with the rest of his ‘crew’ to their first class. Ryan leant up against the lockers, trying to get his breath back, trying not to feel the pain from bruises and injuries and knowing that he had been so lucky that a teacher had stepped in when they did.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ryan, how many times have I told you to stay away from those guys?”  
Ryan looked up at this statement, his books in a pile beside him, the sellotape on his lap, trying hard to tape his glasses back together. He was in his favourite teacher’s office trying to sort out his stuff.  
“Mr Burns, honestly, I have been trying. They just always find me.” Ryan replied, going back to his glasses. He felt a bruise forming on the left side of his face, and knew that certain parts of anatomy were going to hurt every time he moved for the rest of the day.  
“Ryan,” Mr Burns said, sighing inwardly. Ryan liked Mr Burns, he was one of the few people to call him Ryan instead of the formal, Mr Haywood or by James, his official first name.  
“Ryan, you won’t get away from them as long as you go to this school. That’s a fact.”  
“You’re saying I should move schools? But I like it here, and it’s my last year.” Ryan hated the fact that he was the one getting bullied, but he was the one being told that he should go. The school had been telling him that for months now. He had had fought back once, that had got him a suspension from school for defending himself and a personal attack from Geoff, who significantly more martial arts training than Ryan could ever get in the free time he had. Ontop of that, Geoff and his ‘crew’ had got off with a single detention session. Not even a warning on their records, just a detention because Ryan was the only one caught throwing a punch. The attack came after school where the school had no jurisdiction.  
“I know Ryan. I know. But if you want to get any work done, you won’t get it done with those thugs around.”  
“I realise that.” Ryan said, and the bell rang for his next class, “I should go. Thanks for this Mr Burns, it helps.” Ryan got up, wincing from certain injuries, picked up his books and headed off to his second class. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan arrived just as the teacher walked in and sat down, pulling out his chemistry text book. His lab partner was already there sitting in their usual seat. Ryan had barely gotten his books out when he was hit in the head by a very hard paper ball to a round of laughter from the back of class. The teacher turned around and looked at Ryan who had the paper ball in his hand.  
“Mr Haywood.” The teacher reprimanded, “How many times have I told this class not to throw paper balls. I saw you about to throw it towards the back of class.” Ryan sighed and dropped it on the side of the bench. The teacher started to teach and then gave them an experiment to complete. It was the first opportunity for his lab partner to talk to him.  
“Ryan, what’s up?” Lindsay said, Lindsay had red hair and gorgeous eyes, something Ryan thought cute.  
“What do you think what’s up?” He turned his head towards her, allowing her to get a view of the bruise on his cheek. “Lover boy dearest gave that to me, gave me one hell of a headache.” It was a well-known fact that Michael liked Lindsay, but she refused to have anything to do with him because he took the time out of his day to beat up Ryan alongside the other three.  
“Oh, and the brown man broke my glasses.” Lindsay grabbed the stuff they needed off the shelves at the side of their bench and shook her head, measuring out the various solutions required. They had a standing arrangement. Every time there was an experiment and Ryan had been beaten up, he got to record the results and do basic things while Lindsay did the rest in order to give him a break.  
“One of these days, I will hit them myself.” Lindsay said, full of rage.  
“Wait until you hear the worst one, the Brit took great delight in kicking me brutally in the fork, if you’ll excuse the euphemism.” Ryan winced as he adjusted himself on his stool, and grabbed Lindsay’s arm before she could fly off the handle. “It’s okay. I can handle it.” He said, trying to placate her.  
“Handle it? Tell me again how you’re handling it? You come to school every day looking like a wreck and leave looking like you would suit a boxing ring better than a high school.”  
“I know.” Ryan said, tiredly, they’d been through this many times, all the way back since Lindsay was simply ‘the girl at the next desk over’ and Ryan was ‘the boy who got beat up daily’. Michael swaggered past their bench, stopping to wink at Lindsay.  
“Touch my girl and you’re fucking dead, Jamie boy.” Michael threatened, leaning in toward Ryan.  
“I’m not your girl. In your dreams.” Lindsay said, giving Michael the finger, “Asshole.”  
“In my dreams we do everything.” Michael said, leaning over towards her. She flipped him off and he turned back to Ryan, “Oh wait, you wouldn’t go near her would you, You don’t swing that way. Gay boy.” Michael smiled and walked back to his desk.  
Lindsay shook her head and took one step towards their desk where the four boys were laughing like hyenas.  
“Don’t.” Ryan murmured, “It’s just not worth it. They aren’t worth it. Just ignore them.” Lindsay stepped back to their bench and completed the experiment without too much fuss. Chemistry was a subject both her and Ryan were good at and they would often study together, Lindsay filling in the gaps from Ryan’s bad days when he wasn’t paying attention. The rest of the lesson passed without too much fuss, but Ryan caught Lindsay looking at him, a worried expression on her face, more than once.  
Right near the end of the lesson his headache started to worsen. _  
_

 _“Ryan, what do I say? We all miss you? Is that something that you haven’t heard from all the other guys? Something that I haven’t thought a million times a day wishing I could let you know how I felt about you. I miss you. I care about you. We all do. Apparently you’re not doing as well as they’d hoped, so they’re trying something new. I just hope you recognise it and come back to us.”_  
“What?” Lindsay was onto the strange thought immediately, “What are you thinking? Don’t you dare lie to me, I know something’s up?”  
“I just…..heard a voice.” Ryan said, knowing how strange that sounded, “Somebody who cared about me, telling me so. But here’s the weird thing….it sounded like Geoff.”  
Lindsay looked at him strangely, “So the guy who bullies you, has a voice in your head confessing his love for you? Ryan? I’m so sorry, but even I think that’s a little weird. The guy hates you. He takes sadistic delight in beating you up every day, he doesn’t care about you.”  
“I know Lindsay, I’m just saying what I heard. “Ryan said, getting up with much wincing. He started walking towards the door way with the rest of the students, “Anyway, it’s now lunch, I’d better go before they catch up to me.”  
Lindsay smiled sadly before pulling him into a huge hug and murmuring, “It’ll all work out in the end.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan managed to get to safety before his bullies caught up with him, knowing full well that he was in for another beating if Michael had seen Lindsay hugging him. He settled down in a chair for a moment, catching his breath and thanking the teacher who let him in the little computer tech room when he needed safety, under his breath. The door opened and Ryan turned around, ready to fight, only to see his friend Jack, standing there.  
“I heard.” Was all Jack said, closing and locking the room behind him, “A nice shiner you’ve got there, along with all the others.”  
“Courtesy of the one and only.” Ryan replied, his voice bitter. This was his safety when the bullies were extra mean, or when he couldn’t stand the stares from the students about his being gay. He knew retreating to a small dark room with another boy never helped the rumours, but Jack never seemed to care. “I’m glad you came today.”  
Jack raised his eyebrows, “You expected me to abandon you. Today of all days, after what happened?”  
“I don’t want you getting hurt because of me. It’s bad enough you get stared at and talked about behind your back. I don’t want your days to end up like mine because everybody thinks we’re together.” Ryan said, turning away and focusing on the flashing lights of the computers to his left.  
Jack came over and sat next to Ryan. “Ryan.” Jack tried, “Ryan, look at me. Ry- don’t do this. Don’t push me away because of some stupid protective instinct.” Ryan refused to look at Jack, even when the bigger man shuffled closer, wrapping his arms around Ryan and forcing Ryan to look at him.  
“What if I don’t care?” Jack said, leaning closer to Ryan and letting the other man rest on his chest. Jack ran his hands through Ryan’s hair as Ryan struggled with not crying. He had never cried in front of people before, and suddenly, he felt protected and safe enough to cry and not care. 

They broke apart after a while, Ryan avoiding Jack’s gaze. This lunchtime wasn’t the first time that they’d done this, but it was the first time that it felt like more than just a comfort session. He was sitting on the seat when he felt Jack lean in and plant a small kiss on his cheek and lean back again, trying not to blush.  
“Jack….?” Ryan questioned, unsure of how to react. He realised with a shock, that he had always assumed Jack was straight and never questioned it, because in their school, being gay meant you were a social outcast. “Jack…..” he said again, turning to face the other man.  
“Sorry.” Jack said, “I just….never mind.” Ryan smiled and kissed the gent on his cheek.  
“I never knew.” Ryan said and got up to type some of his work on his laptop. “Honestly Jack, I never knew. If I had known, well…maybe things would have come about sooner….”  
Jack laughed and replied, “I didn’t want you to get flak for actually dating a guy. Everybody knows you like guys, but I figured the bullying would be worse if you were actually dating a guy….so I stayed quiet.”  
“Even though everybody figures we are going out because of this whole situation anyway.” Ryan replied, laughing, and then his laughter petered off as a command prompt on the computer opened up and started typing of its own accord. 

‘Ryan, if you’re reading this, you’ve been in a coma for 2 weeks with little response. We’re trying a new technique. We don’t know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope we’re getting through. Please wake up.’ The message read. A notepad document came up next to the command prompt and both started writing the message again. ‘Ryan, if you’re reading this, you’ve been in a coma for 2 weeks with little response. We’re trying a-” Ryan turned away from the screen, and faced Jack, a sick feeling in his stomach,  
“Nice joke jack, not particularly funny, but shows promise.” Ryan said, trying to pass the feeling off as a joke rather than unease.  
“What?” Jack replied, looking up from his work on the desk next to Ryan’s. Ryan slid the laptop over to Jack for him to see the repeating message in the command prompt and notepad document writing itself over and over.  
“This wasn’t me Ryan.” Jack said, glancing over to see the other man looking worried.  
“Come on Jack, you’re the only other person who knows the password, I think it’s a good joke. There’s no one else who could have done it.” Ryan said, with a grimace.  
“Ryan.” Jack said, gripping Ryan’s shoulders and forcing him to look away from the message, “It wasn’t me okay? I promise you. This has nothing to do with me.” Ryan nodded, looking sick and ran a hand through his hair, wishing he had some aspirin to stop his headache from Michael’s punch. But even as he thought about the message, the headache got worse and he hissed as his vision blurred in the symptoms of a migraine.  
“Ryan?” Jack was by his side instantly, “What’s up?”  
“Headache….well….” Ryan said, gritting his teeth, “Migraine. But I’ve had it for ages, days, weeks, as long as I can remember.” Ryan curled over in a ball, his head aching, vision blurry, as images came into focus. They came fast, flashing only for a moment, but leaving an impression that would last a lifetime. 

A job he loved that he couldn’t quite remember properly, being held by a man with wings who protected him as his world fell apart around him, play fighting with a soulmate he’d never thought he would find, passing over a kingdom to a man he saved from death. All these images flashed in his head, bringing forth detail and emotions he’d never considered before; Love, protective instincts, cherishing moments, friendships, and anguish and pain.

He was aware of being lifted up into Jack’s arms, the other man deciding that now was the time to get him help for the headache and knew the babble of the hallways as he was carried down them. He could almost picture it, the ginger haired man carrying a ball of anguish and pain down the hall to stares of the rest of the student body. The whispers got worse as he went, rising to a hubbub of noise that hurt his head. He whimpered and was aware of Jack holding him tighter and whispering soothing words into his ear, but nothing helped. He tried to open his eyes a crack and instead of seeing the school halls he expected, he saw a road, flashing lights, and broken glass. He closed his eyes and opened them again, trying to get the image he expected, but instead getting flashes of fluorescent jackets, the noises of orders and the whispers of a watching crowd. He rolled his head to the side and expected to see lockers but instead saw Jack, the other man bleeding from a gash on his head and his eyes closed. Ryan tried to scream for the other man but it just came out as a whimper as pain overtook him and he blacked out. The last thing he was aware of was the whispers from the school halls, and the shouted orders from the road side scene mingling together and confusing his senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the length, and the characters, and everything basically. Oh, and no monologue at the end from somebody.....strange right? I wonder why........? :D


	6. Reality Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter:  
> Angsty. Very angsty  
> Grief  
> Swapping POV's (kinda, you'll see)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> Crash scene. Not too gory, mostly just semi-ambiguous/general descriptions, but it's quite a horrific crash (even if it isn't described), so just a warning for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really cliché, but so is a lot of the story so…well…. it fit. Shut up. I like it. :)  
> I hope it makes up for the last one.
> 
> Music for this chapter if anybody is interested:  
> This song was recorded for a songwriting competition called 'Play It Strange' (high school music competition) in New Zealand. It won an award for this competition, and I know the singer, she's a great person. The one that was played most was 'In Pieces' by Grace Brebner ( https://soundcloud.com/aworsnop/in-pieces-grace-brebner ).  
> Listen to In Pieces, it was pretty much on repeat for the last 2 chapters of writing this thing. There was one other, more appropriate for the next chapter... so I'll post it there.  
> I required music to stop the feels being too bad....it had one job and failed....ah well. :)

 

Ryan sat bolt upright, like waking from a nightmare in a dream. His eyes were open wide, his head filled with the memories of various realities, almost like stories in his mind, but they had felt so real. Ryan came to his senses, heart slowing as he looked around. He was in the back of an ambulance, wearing rather normal clothes and no-one was in sight. There was a lot of movement and noise outside though so Ryan tentatively got off the bed, appearing uninjured and unhurt and not feeling it either. Ryan left the ambulance looking at his feet and seeing the broken glass around him. He heard a voice, but this wasn’t intrusive like the others had been. It was Geoff, protective Geoff who always took care of everybody. His voice was welcome, filling in details Ryan had missed.

_“Michael, Gavin, Ray and I left not too long after you from work, so it was inevitable we would run into the cordon. I remember getting to the edge, on foot, I’d told the others to stay in the car while I checked it out. I was first to the barrier and what I saw. Ryan, it haunts me. I don’t understand how you didn’t die. The other car hit Jack’s straight on, passenger door crumpled into you, the other car’s front was mangled but they had to cut the door off Ryan, to get you out. When we got there you were being cut out of the car, orders being shouted about, I just….if that car had been any faster, the doctors say you would be dead by now. Dead by blood loss at the scene, that’s how close it was.”_

Ryan heard the voice and looked up at the carnage. Exactly as Geoff had described, the wreckage of two cars, Jack’s rather distinctive red sedan crumpled at impact. The two cars had been pulled apart as the firemen brought out their machinery to cut the passenger door out of the sedan. Paramedics were swarming around both cars trying to attend to everybody and not be in the way. He walked forward, into the middle of the crash site, nobody taking notice of him as he focused on the reflections of flashing lights onto broken glass, which seemed slightly more realistic than the scene in front of him.

_“I remember the door coming off and paramedics were reaching in to secure you when the others turned up. Gavin was first, the others trailing behind slowly. Gavin reached me. I remember him saying, “What’s up Geoff?” before the scene in front of him clicked and he saw Jack’s car smashed up in that intersection.”_

Ryan turned around, instinctively, seeing a very impassive Geoff at the cordon barrier with Gavin beside him. Ryan saw the events playing out in front of him as Geoff continued.

_“Gavin took one look and turned to me. “Is that…Jack’s…..?” He asked me. I nodded and grabbed him close as Gavin buried his face in my shirt. Michael turned up next, took one look at Gavin, ready to make a joke. I saw it in his eyes, but that faded the moment he saw the car. He gripped the tape in front of him, his hands clenched into fists. Ray turned up just as you were being lifted out of the car.”_

Ryan remembered this part. He remembered being lifted out of the car, he watched in third person this time, the first person view in his mind as he watched paramedics lift out a man with light brown hair, matted with blood, on a board with a neck brace. He remembered bits and pieces, drifting in and out of consciousness, as he was lifted. He turned around to check on the cordon as Geoff continued.

 _“Ray got here in time to see the car, and see you being lifted out. You were in a right state when we first saw you, hair matted with blood, gashes everywhere, they had braced your right leg with something…”_ There was a pause and then the voice continued, _“Gavin took one look and lost it, crying into my shirt. Michael was crying too. I remember him falling to his knees. I was crying too, trying to be the strong one, and failing. Gavin was curled against my chest, Michael was at my feet and Ray…well Ray took one look and rushed towards you. Under the cordon tape and straight for the car and straight for you. It took two cops, their arms around his waist to drag him backwards to the cordon. He was crying out for you, hoping you were alive, because you didn’t look like it. He was trying to push the cops away and get towards you, calling out. They finally got him back to the cordon, where I took over and he collapsed against me, crying.”_

Ryan saw it all happen, Ray coming towards him, and it brought up a memory. He remembered being lifted, and being carried, in pieces anyway. But he recalled someone yelling out to him, from a distance. It was barely audible over the noise of everything else but it was there, faint but recognisable. Ray being dragged back evoked memories from a vague reality, of Ray being dragged backwards after an accident and he realised why it had appeared in a reality he dreamt up. Because it was real.

_“You were carried into the ambulance; we didn’t see any more of you after that for a while. But they got Jack out too. He wasn’t nearly as bad. He looked terrible, but he was obviously conscious, able to respond. He had been driving and his injuries weren’t as bad. We found that out later.”_

Ryan watched his body pass by, barely conscious and into the ambulance where he had emerged from. He had to agree with Geoff, he looked terrible, but he was only going off Geoff’s descriptions, he couldn’t remember anything after being lifted out.

_“They called the In-Case-of-Emergency number in your phone at that moment and it made my phone ring, quite loudly. One of the cops who had dragged Ray away came up to me, it registered that I was with the one who gotten past the cordon and realised we were all from the same place. Jack was lifted out and put in a different ambulance to you as I was asked to come with them.”_

Ryan turned around to see the events going down as Geoff tried to prise Gavin and Ray off him and give them to Michael, but neither of them would let go.

_“Neither Gavin or Ray would let go of me, so Michael was hauled up onto his feet and we went as a group of four behind the cordon. Strength in numbers was what we felt like. Gavin was a mess, red puffy eyes, red nose. He wouldn’t let go of my hand, even when Ray did when we started moving. Michael wouldn’t look at anybody, he just stared at the ground and Ray held his hand tightly as he looked at the sky, at the ground, at Michael, Gavin, me, anywhere but the crash. Gavin’s hand was gripping mine on one side and Ray’s on the other, a chain of strength, with no weak links. I think we all felt like the weakest link at that point.”_

Ryan watched the chain of his boyfriends travel around the edge of the crash until they reached the ambulance and disappeared from sight. He took one look at the carnage and collapsed himself onto the ground covered in broken glass and shards of metal. He didn’t feel any of it, because it wasn’t real. It was just a false construct, like every other thing he had been experiencing in recent memory. The realities flashed up in his mind like photographs in an album. A reality where soulmates existed, a reality where he had ruled the kingdom, and a high school reality. He realised the one thing they all shared, they had had all his boyfriends as characters in each reality, at least one of his boyfriends in every reality was there to support him and help him. He closed his eyes gently, shutting out the horrors of the world around him and focusing on all the good times he had had. If he never woke up, and he was never able to see his boyfriends again, feel their hugs and kisses, he was content, knowing that his mind had allowed him certain moments of happiness with each one.

_“Ryan. You should be dead. I don’t mean that in a bad way. But what happened at the crash, you should be dead. You weren’t next to us when you were pulled out of the car, you looked dead. Only the paramedics pulling you out before anybody else meant you were alive. If they’d left you, we would have known you were dead. And Jack would have died inside. It’s been two weeks, you’re not showing any signs of waking up, not to us anyway. The doctors were hopeful, they said you kept coming back to reality, but you made no sign that you were aware of us. Then then nothing more happened, no signs you were aware, they had to try something radical and we hope that it works because even the doctors are losing hope that you’ll wake up. Ryan, we have only one hope left. You. The fact that we love you. And that you love us. And you’d never let us go without a proper goodbye. So at the very least wake up so you can say goodbye. Because I hate having no goodbyes. We’re almost always here now, there’s a recliner in the corner for us to sleep on. We all have our shifts to watch over you. Ray comes in, in the morning to relieve me, he’s lost without you. He’s like a lost puppy dog, no idea what to do. Michael comes in mid-morning and takes over, and Ray always tells me that Michael looks crushed when he has to tell Michael that there’s no change._

_“Michael….he’s sunk into a form of depression. I’m worried about him. He just refuses to eat, he doesn’t like sleeping with the rest of them at night, he ‘sleeps’ on the couch most nights, I don’t even believe he sleeps properly anymore. Quick naps snatched now and then is when I think he sleeps. He’s just scared you were angry at him and he’ll never get a chance to apologise. I don’t think he’d recover if you never woke up. I think he’d strike out on his own, whatever happens, I think we’d have to get help for him, regardless of what he thinks._

_“Jack comes in at lunchtime to be with you. The big man….to be honest he blames himself. He believes it’s his fault the other person ran the red light, because he wasn’t aware enough. He was injured but he recovered, mostly, late last week. He’s still wearing a neck brace for whiplash, and every so often has dizzy spells but is overall mostly okay. He insists on cooking as well. He says he has to feel useful again. So he cooks. And the others eat under my watchful eye, but ‘eat’ is really just a word for picking at food, consuming enough to tide you over to the next day, and in Michael’s case, maybe not even that._

_"Gavin is the only missing party at our sombre dinner table, because he’s here from mid-afternoon onwards, until I come in and spend the night here with you. I know he tells you everything that’s happened in the day. Trying to keep his spirits up and keep you informed. Every little stupid detail of the jokes that people have played over the day in the office, or videos we have planned or anything like that. He records everything, and tells you about everything. Outside of this room though, he’s broken. He ranges between gazing off into the distance and not paying attention to anything, and being intensely focused on something ridiculous. He doesn’t even try and wind up Michael anymore, and that’s really worrying me. He isn’t himself, none of us are, but when we try and record videos, we are all sombre, and Gavin goes over the top with the pranks and jokes. Lindsay’s been good, filling in for people, and we’ve been doing shorter, smaller videos because none of us want to do it. Ryan, come back buddy. Please….they’re all breaking apart, and relying on me and I can’t do this anymore.”_


	7. Alive And Aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the last one. I know I've said 7 chapters all along, but the 7th chapter got away from me, and it's even bigger then the High School!AU chapter (That's saying something). So I apologize for the shorter length of this one. It is the best place to cut it, even though it makes the second half longer than this one. The other one will be up either tomorrow or the next day, depending on how I release the other story.  
> Then that last chapter is it for this particular story.

Ryan was aware of the voice and a hand that was slipped into his, but he couldn’t move his fingers, he couldn’t let Geoff know that he was listening and wanted to open his eyes and give Geoff a huge big hug, but his body wouldn’t obey him right then.

_“Ryan, I can’t take this, They’re all relying on me, and I’m supposed to be the big strong rock. The one who takes care of everybody else and always will. But at this time, right now. I just need someone to hold me and let me cry on them, but everybody has retreated so far into their own worlds that I can’t rely on anybody.”_ Geoff sniffled, and it became obvious that he was crying, _“Nobody is themselves, least of all me. I can’t take this constant waiting. I miss you. I care about you. Dammit Ryan, I love you. I always have. There is no escaping that fact. I love you. You can’t die on me because I think I’d die inside too. I have to wake up every day, and leave you in this room, when all I want to do is sit here, next to you, being here with you because I’m so scared that I’ll leave this room every morning and you won’t be here when I get back. That I will lose my chance to say goodbye because I believe you’ll be here when I get back and refuse to say goodbye. It’s like there’s two of me because I’m always here with you. I never leave you and I can’t function like this, split in half never focusing on anything, because when I’m there, I’m worried about you, and when I’m here, I’m worried about them and I can’t fix this. I can’t fix you. And this hurt, this breaks me. James Ryan Haywood, as your boss, as you r friend and as your lover, who loves you immensely, wake up. Come back to us. Because we’re broken, and you are the only one who can fix us….”_ There was a sob, and a sniff, and a shaky laugh, trying to disguise the tears. Ryan was aware of a kiss on his forehead, and a head resting next to his for a moment, as a whisper of, _“Please come back. I love you.”_

Ryan put all his might into willing his fingers to move, he knew that if nothing else, he wanted Geoff to know he was aware of this, but Geoff moved slightly and his hand slipped out of Ryan’s, as the older man dozed slightly.  
Ryan focused all his energies into getting his fingers to twitch, just a little, but just as he was giving up, they moved, a fraction of an inch. Just enough to brush against Geoff’s hand for a moment.  
Ryan felt Geoff grab his hand, aware of the other man moving beside him.  
“Ryan?” Geoff said, softly, quietly, not daring to hope that Ryan had actually moved his hand, “Ryan, can you hear me?” Ryan tried to move his fingers but again they wouldn’t obey him.  
“Stupid idiot.” Geoff muttered, “Thinking he moved. He hasn’t moved on his own for two weeks, why would he suddenly move now.”  
Ryan’s fingers twitched slightly, not much, but enough to be noticeable. Geoff’s hand gripped his and leant closer. Ryan, inside the privacy of his own head, was happy. His body was starting to respond to his commands again.  
“Ryan. You can hear me? I really hope you can right now or I’ll feel really stupid soon.”  
Geoff ran his free head through Ryan’s hair, a gesture of comfort for both Geoff and Ryan. Ryan relaxed slightly and tried to make his hand grip Geoff’s in some form. His fingers twitched again, more noticiable this time and Ryan started to become aware of pain across his body, his right leg, his arms, his ribs and most noticeably his head. Ryan realized that the headache that he’d been experiencing all the way though his various realities was a sign from the outside, letting him know he was actually alive, even though he hadn’t picked up on it at first. Geoff pressed something, letting nurses that something was happening and leant forward again.  
“Ryan, I know you’re there. Come back buddy, you’re safe. Wake up for me, let me know you’re awake.” Geoff murmured as others came into the room.

Geoff explained the situation as Ryan started to feel more and more of his own body, and more and more of the pain radiating from it. His heart sped up, trying to activate the flee instinct in his brain to get him away from the pain, but Ryan was rational, and knew that the pain was coming from his body so moving would not help. Whoever else was in the room got excited as his heart sped up and organised things around him. Ryan knew Geoff was there, holding his hand strongly, and letting him know everything was alright. The motion of putting his spare hand through Ryan’s hair also comforted him and calmed him down, as more and more of the various injuries and their pain became evident, the biggest one being the struggle to breathe. He couldn’t take deep breaths and he started to panic, thinking something was really wrong.  
“Ryan, breathe shallow. Trust me, it feels wrong, but you have to breathe shallow. Your ribs are cracked, they can’t take deep breaths right now. Just trust me, okay Ry? Geoff murmured, softly, breathing in shallow so Ryan could follow him.  
“I know you probably hurt all over right now, they’re trying to stop that, but it’s not instant, you just have bear with it for a little while longer.” Geoff leant down and pressed a light kiss to Ryan’s forehead.  
“You’re almost back Ry, don’t you dare go under on me okay? You have to stay here with me, okay? Trust me, you’re safe, things are getting better.”  
Ryan lay there for a while, unsure of whether anything was getting better or worse, the pain spiking across his chest when he took a deeper breath, and his head feeling the pressure. He drifted in and out for a while until Geoff squeezed his hand.  
“Don’t you dare go on me. Stay with me. Wake up Ry, you can sleep soon, but you have to stay awake for now.”  
Ryan made his fingers squeeze Geoff’s and he lay there for a while longer until the pain started to dull. He was still aware of the pain, it still hurt, but it was at a manageable level. It was now or never he realised. This was the choice, wake up right now, or stay like this forever. His eyes opened slowly, bright light flooding in and he shut his eyes quickly, not being able to take the brightness.

Geoff must have been watching him intently because he called out to someone to turn off the lights. Ryan heard a click and felt Geoff run his hand through his hair again before he screwed up the courage to open his eyes again. He opened them slowly, his eyelids stiff and sore and not wanting to fold back properly. The light was dim, and off to his side, and Ryan got the impression it was a table lamp.  
“Ry, hey buddy.” Geoff said softly, looking down at his boyfriend. Ryan took a moment to focus, his faculties not quite as sharp as he would have liked right now. He focused and saw the face of one of his boyfriends leaning over him, face worried and relieved all at the same time. Ryan swallowed, his throat feeling rough and dry and he cracked his lips just a touch in order to attempt words.  
“Geoff?” Ryan asked, the words quiet and slurred, but still there. Geoff smiled slightly.  
“Yeah buddy. I’m here. We’ve all been here. Every day. We haven’t left your side. I promise.” Ryan closed his eyes for a moment. He felt Geoff grip his hand tighter, worry evident on his face when Ryan opened his eyes again. The only thing that Ryan could think of was the image of Jack in the crashed car, looking like a mess, bloody and not moving.  
“Jack?” He managed to get out, worried and scared all at the same time.  
“He’s fine. Mostly. Just a few minor injuries. I can call him if you want, but the others will come too, all of them will come.”  
Ryan tried to shake his head, and closed his eyes again, the pain from his head, worsening and dulling with that single movement.  
“It’s okay.” Geoff leant forward, pulling the gent into the gentlest but most awkward hug that could possibly be managed at this time. “I won’t call the,. Tomorrow will be a different story, but if you’re not up to it, we can just not tell them for now.” Ryan smiled, his eyes still closed and Geoff took that for acceptance.  
He paused for a moment and then said, “Ry?” The word came out softly and Ryan’s eyes flickered open.  
“I love you Ryan. You had us so scared, but I just want you to know that. I love you.”  
Ryan opened his mouth, “I love you too.” He managed to get out, barely above a whisper.  
“Sleep Ryan. Okay? Sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

And with that, Ryan closed his eyes and drifted off into a peaceful dreamless sleep. 


	8. Tears and Triumphs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags:  
> Fluff  
> Overwhelming feels  
> Total cutie overload  
> Crying from pretty much everybody  
> A final countdown........(you'll see)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, so this is the last part. I'm sad. I won't take up any more of your time right now, read on, and I'll see you all at the end! (*whispers* I promise it'll all be okay.) Oh and the countdown....yeah, it took me the most time, but I love it the most.

Ryan woke up slowly, feeling the pain again dull but there under the painkillers. He eased his eyes open, the light not as painful to endure anymore, and ignored the tubes coming out of various parts of his body. He glanced around the room to see Geoff just outside the door walking with someone. Then he took a look at the rest of the room. The room was distinctly occupied by the guys, that much was obvious. Gavin’s creeper scarf was wound through the bed head, the soft plushie tower of pimps was on the table next to the chair, and each of the minecraft figures that sat on their desks were all sitting on his bedside table watching him. He smiled weakly and leant back onto the bed as Geoff walked in.  
“Hey buddy.” Geoff said, “You back with us for good now?”  
“Yeah, I think so.” Ryan said weakly, “Just the healing to go now right?”  
“Bad dreams?” Geoff asked, sitting back down in the chair.  
“No, I don’t remember even dreaming. What about the guys, am I going to be bombarded with people soon?” Ryan looked up at Geoff, who was trying to hide something.  
“You were talking in your sleep….well, muttering mostly. Couldn’t make it out.” Geoff looked away, focusing instead on one of the numerous bunches of flowers dotted throughout the room. “Don’t worry about the guys, I’ve told them the doctor needs to see me today sometime and so I’ll stay here. I know they’re worried about you, but I’ve been the official spokesperson for a while now so it’s only logical reasoning.”  
“Geoff,” Ryan began, worried, “What are you not telling me?”  
Geoff looked back at him trying to smile. “Nothing much, it’s just mostly medical stuff. You’ll be in here for a while longer.” Ryan moved his hand, trying to grab Geoff’s but couldn’t reach. Geoff noticed and moved his hand closer to allow Ryan to hold it.  
“What happened? How bad was it?” Ryan said, softly, barely audible.  
“You were…..” Geoff swallowed and tried again.

“You should be dead, by all accounts. Normally people in that sort of crash don’t make it out the way you did. But you were surprisingly good by all accounts.”  
Ryan shifted and winced as pain spiked around his body. “Well I don’t feel good.” Ryan replied, trying humor to lighten the situation. When that didn’t work he gave Geoff’s hand a small squeeze.  
Geoff looked back at him and continued, “You have a broken right leg for starters and there’s some damage to your left leg, they won’t know how bad it is until you really try and put some weight on it, they did all they could surgically for both. You have 2 broken ribs and 3 cracked ones, so don’t go laughing for a while or you’ll really hurt.” The corners of Ryan’s mouth turned up in a half smile at that as Geoff continued, “Obviously you have multiple lacerations and stab wounds from where glass broke and hit you, all down your back and your sides. You had a concussion, quite bad, cracked the back of your skull quite badly. Doctor says you must have been talking to Jack when the car was hit because you went face first towards the driver and then the seatbelt stopped you moving, meaning you rebounded and hit the middle pillar, with your head. So concussion, whiplash, massive internal bleeding, fading in and out of consciousness, multiple lacerations, broken ribs and a broken leg when we got to see you. Gavin rode with you all the way to the hospital, bawling his eyes out. You were the only thing that would make him let go of me after we saw the car.” Geoff sighed, his voice losing its wobble and he looked away.  
“Geoff…..I’m sorry.” Ryan murmured.  
“What for?” Geoff asked harshly, and softened when he saw Ryan’s face. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean it like that. It wasn’t your fault Ryan, it wasn’t Jack’s fault either, even though he still blames himself for it.”  
“Can I see them?” Ryan asked, “The guys, can I see them? Please? I know you don’t want me overwhelmed and I promise it won’t be long but I just need to see them.”  
Geoff sighed, “The doctors are gonna be so pissed at me after this.” Geoff said, as he pulled out his phone.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan was in the room, on his own, with the blinds and door closed. Geoff was waiting outside to stop the guys from charging in, keep the fact that Ryan was awake was a surprise. Geoff was mostly there to restrain Gavin and stop Gavin from charging in and attacking him in a totally-not-nasty-but-totally-friendly way. He’d asked for Geoff to send Jack in, alone, first, so he could talk. Then the others could come in. Commotion at the door signalled that they had all arrived.  
Ryan smiled slightly, hearing the obvious British accent, demanding to know why they’d been summoned, followed up by a very Jersey one agreeing. Ray’s voice was there, wondering aloud what could have prompted it all, and Jack’s voice was barely audible over the noise. How Geoff managed to quieten them down, Ryan never knew, but they were all taking seats outside and the door opened slightly, movement was heard and then the door was closed. Ryan opened his eyes when the figure sat down next to him.  
“Jack.” He said simply, looking at the Gent.  
Jack started and looked up from where his head had been in his hands. “Ryan?” He asked softly, “You’re awake? Please tell me this isn’t a dream. Please.” He was almost begging by the end of the sentence. Ryan reached out and grabbed Jack’s hand, squeezing gently.  
“This isn’t a dream. I promise. I’m here, alive and well…..mostly well anyway.” Jack stared at him for a moment and then fell forward, resting his head on the bed next to Ryan. His body shook with silent tears of joy and Ryan ran his hands through Jack’s hair.  
“You don’t….” Jack began, looking up, his eyes shining with tears, “You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed this over the past 2 weeks. Ryan, I couldn’t bear to lose you not in this way, not ever. I just kept seeing the crash over and over, and just seeing you after, in that state, I just…..” He dissolved silence and wiped his eyes.  
“Jack, I heard you talking.” Ryan said, suddenly remembering, “You were talking to me while I was in a coma, weren’t you?” Jack nodded and Ryan took that as a yes.  
“I heard you blaming yourself for the crash. Geoff said you’ve been doing it too. It wasn’t your fault.”  
“But I was driving, and I was in the middle of the intersection the car was hit and it is my fault that you-“ Jack tried to say, but Ryan cut him off.  
“No. Listen to me Jack; this is not your fault. It was the other driver who wasn’t paying attention. You are one of the best drivers I know and it is NOT YOUR FAULT.” Ryan put a bit more emphasis than was necessary on the last three words, but felt like it needed it to get the words through.  
Jack nodded after a moment, and Ryan knew that the speech worked for now. Later was a different matter though.  
“But why can’t we just go in?” came a British voice from outside.  
Ryan smiled, “Call out to Geoff will you Jack, so he knows to let the others in now.”  
“Geoff,” Jack called out, “It’s okay, you can come in.”

Ryan leant back on the bed as the door opened and Geoff entered, followed by Ray, Michael and finally Gavin. All were sombre and had their heads bowed as they walked in and stood around looking at the floor. Ryan knew that nobody wanted to look at him, fearing the worst.  
“Why the long faces?” Ryan said softly, smiling to himself and enjoyed watching the facial expressions as they whipped their heads up.  
Ray’s face was one of relief and happiness, and Ryan saw a weight slip off the younger man’s shoulders.  
Michael looked up, shocked and relieved all at the same time and a smile came across his face.  
Gavin’s reaction was the best. As predicted, Gavin attempted to immediately launch himself towards Ryan, only to be stopped by Geoff who had his arm around the younger man’s waist in anticipation. Gavin struggled, tears slightly forming in his eyes until he calmed down and Geoff let him go where he immediately rushed to Ryan’s side snuggling in as much as he could.  
“Whoa Gavin. Gently.” Ryan said, shuffling sideways slightly with a spike of pain. “What’s up buddy?” Gavin was mostly on the bed next to Ryan at this point, his head buried in Ryan’s shoulder. He refused to reply as Ryan raised an eyebrow and looked at the other two who were shocked into silence.  
“Nobody else has anything else to say?” Ryan said, looking around the room. Geoff looked smug and satisfied, Jack was just smiling at Gavin and Ryan, Ray had relaxed into a chair, and Michael kept blinking as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. There was a sharp pain in his side and he shifted, facing Gavin. Ryan grabbed Gavin, as much as he could and pushed him backwards slightly.  
“Gavin, gently. Damaged goods here. I still hurt. A lot.” Ryan said as Gavin leant backwards.  
“Sorry.” Gavin mumbled, before planting a gentle kiss on Ryan’s lips. “I just….I couldn’t……If you hadn’t….” Gavin was having trouble making full sentences and Ryan pulled him in, very gently.  
“It’s okay.” Ryan whispered, “I know what you want to say. It’s okay now.” Ryan kissed the top of Gavin’s head gently before Geoff decided enough was enough and pulled Gavin away.  
“Enough Gavin.” Geoff said sitting him firmly in the chair next to the bed. Gavin looked down at the bed, and then up at Ryan, relief evident in his eyes, refusing to let go of the Gent’s hand.  
Ray was next up, coming over and sitting on the same side of the bed as Jack was. Ryan reached out and gently pulled Ray into a hug.  
“I heard you.” Ryan murmured into Ray’s ear, “I heard you talking to me. Thank you for trying. Trying to keep them together. You did my job. I owe you one.” Ray leant back, and pressed a kiss to Ryan’s forehead.  
“I’d never be as good as you.” Ray said and pulled away, letting Michael who was behind him come closer. Michael swapped places with Jack and pressed a kiss to Ryan’s cheek before sitting down and grabbing his hand.  
“What?” Ryan tried to tease, “The man with words for everybody has nothing to say?” Michael looked up at him and put his head on the bed next to Ryan, breathing deeply. Ryan’s hand was released and he used it to go through Michael’s head, soothing him.  
“I was just so worried that you’d never wake up.” Michael confided in a low voice. A quick look around the room revealed that everybody had thought the same.  
“If goodbyes were never said, or we never got to hear your voice again, or let you know how much we cared…….” Michael looked away, “I think we would have all broken if you’d not made it.” He sat back up and leant back in the chair, “There. The unspoken dark thought in the room. Now spoken.”  
“It was said. Many times.” Ryan said, softly. “It was all I was told, over and over.” Everybody looked away for a moment, focusing on the floor, or the ceiling, or a particularly interesting daisy in the case of Ray, all because it was closest.

“Come here.” Ryan said, opening his arms, “All of you. Come here.” Geoff looked worried for a moment as Gavin clambered back up on the bed on one side, curling into Ryan and holding him as much as Ryan’s injuries would allow. Ray sat on the other side, more careful of Ryan’s injuries as he was on the more damaged right side. Jack went around to the left side, behind Gavin, and held Ryan’s hand, while Michael did the same on Ryan’s right side. Geoff sighed and went around to the gap between bed and wall, and stood behind the bed, his hands going to Ryan’s shoulders. They were silent for a moment, revelling in the feeling of everybody back together again.  
Then Gavin turned his head to Ryan and said softly, “I love you Ryan. Since you joined us in the pathetically small room at the old office, I’ve loved you. And I always will.” He snuggled back down as Jack pressed a kiss to the top of Ryan’s head and said, “We all love you. You don’t know how much we’ve all wanted to be able to do this since the accident.”  
Ray just nodded, words stuck in his throat and he swallowed nervously.  
Michael cleared his throat and said, “Well-um, we-uh, we have something to ask you,” and nodded towards Geoff.  
Geoff moved to the front of the bed where Ryan could see him. “We decided to do this after the accident because we don’t want to lose you. We all discussed it and asked each other, you’re the only one left who hasn’t been asked.” Geoff reached into his pocket and looked worried for a minute.  
“Geoff, you have it right?” Ray asked, worried. Geoff checked his other pocket and visibly relaxed.  
“Yeah, wrong pocket.” He said pulling something out of his pocket and leaning to be closer to Ryan.  
“Ryan, this will probably never be legal according to the US government but we all agreed we’d at least ask and well…” Geoff babbled, until Michael cleared his throat again, and Geoff continued, after a deep breath, and opened the little box in his hand.  
“Ryan, will you marry us?”

Ryan looked around at all the faces pointing towards him, hope in their eyes, everybody waiting expectantly for his answer. As he looked around, the various realities came back to him. The joking around in the constantly changing offices, support from them all when they were hybrids, joking at the park and feeling so normal with them all when he found his soulmate, support and love from them all while he was king and the stories and art he did as part of a high school project. He knew that through the realities, at least one of them was there to support him, and that they loved him. Looking around, he realised that he loved them too, each in his own way, all those quirky, funny, strange, wonderful guys.  
“Yes.” Ryan said softly, “I love you. I love you all and I would be honoured to spend the rest of my life with you all.” There was an audible release of breath from the 5 men clustered around him as Geoff leant forward and put the ring on Ryan’s finger, before diving into his wallet to retrieve his own, along with the other 4. Ryan looked around as they all put their ring on, the 6 of them bound together now.  
He studied the ring carefully, noting the 6 woven bands in different metals wind themselves together around his finger.  
Geoff cleared his throat, “Each of the colours is one of us. The black is Michael, the silver is Gavin, Ray is the rose gold.”  
“I’m copper and Geoff is the yellow gold.” Jack finished off.  
“Making me white gold.” Ryan murmured, admiring the band.  
“We love you Ryan.” Jack said, leaning in, “We never wanted to be separated from you, or from anybody else in this wacky relationship of ours.”  
Jack reached in and put his left hand on top of Ryan’s left, the two rings showing. Michael entered the fray, leaving three rings showing. Geoff and Gavin tried to add their hands to the pile at the same time, and everybody laughed, before Ray screwed up his nose and placed his hand gently ontop.

Everybody stared at the pile of left hands, with 6 rings showing. Ryan counted down the numbers in his head, becoming peaceful.

6 wedding rings,  
5 lovers,  
4 proper dates,  
3 romantic dinners,  
2 dozen red roses,  
1 reason to stay together.  
Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....it's over..... WAAAAAH! :) I hope you all enjoyed it, I know I loved writing it, all the parts (including the high school!AU, I know, I'm a horrible person). Please let me know what you thought, and how much I broke your heart/overwhelmed you with feels etc..... (and how much my writing deviates from accepted AU norms as well. Teehee.) Yell, scream, whisper while you're trying not to cry....whatever floats your boat. Direct it my way, I love hearing from you guys.  
> I’ve ended it on a rather happy note (I believe so anyway), but with an opening to a second story.  
> I have ideas for a second part, a recovery-ish oriented part with wedding stuff added in, plus a return of ALL the AU!s (yes including THAT one). But if you guys want it. Let me know okay?  
> Oh, and anybody who’s interested, the ring looks like a slightly more masculine version of this: bit.ly/1qtlDEz  
> And ring metals: bit.ly/1qSuPV6  
> I wanted to go all roses and flowers and gorgeous stuff, but had to restrain myself because that’s a very girly thing to wear. :)

**Author's Note:**

> ©Samantha Millar 2014


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